They grow too fast

Today I finally got to cleaning the hallway closet. I have wanted to take 10 minutes and clean it all week. I came across a couple pictures. I took a picture of them to get them on the computer. So much faster than trying to figure out my scanner. I can not believe how fast the girls are growing. I just love this picture of The Dancer and Rose. They were 4.5 and 2.5 years old. Rose still had all her curls! I miss those curls. They grow up too fast.

Baby Gift

I find this kind of funny. My hubby is not a shop ahead kind of guy. He waits to buy things until the last minute. Like last week one night he told me at 7:06pm that he was out of deodorant. I had just been to Wal-Mart the night before and asked him if he needed anything and he told me no. So I told him he had to get it or wait. So he waited until the next night. And he was completely out! Yeah, stinky!

Anyways, I have bought some things for the baby. Mostly things I have found on sale or clearance. I like to be prepared. I don't want to all of a sudden be holding a naked baby with nothing to put him in. Bad enough he might not have a name. Hubby thinks I should wait to buy things later. Well today he comes home after a visit to the Harley Davidson shop. I suppose he wanted to google over his dream motorcycle. His dad has a Harley and he thinks he needs one. Well he bought a piggy bank for the baby! He was very excited about it. Almost like if he got his own Harley. So jokingly I said to Rose and Hubby "Let's name the baby Harley". Rose said "No David". She has brought this name up before and we can not figure out where she heard it from. I asked her where she heard it and all she says is "I just like it".

No I won't name my baby Harley Davidson Wynn! Sorry not doing it!

Wordless Wednesday

http://www.lakewoodhealthsystem.com/Stork_Report/0427_Easton.htm

Almost a Wordless Wednesday! My Hubby's cousin and his girlfriend had a baby this week!! A new member in the Wynn Family!

Some updates!

Well, I have some things to share.

The little boy I have posted about, Stellan, spent 5.5 weeks in the hospital. He ended up taking a trip to Boston to have surgery. Well good news, he's now on his way home to MN to be with his family. He is doing well. If you are interested in his story it has been on the ABC news and the link to the mother's blog is located on the lower right corner of my blog.

I have been elected Vice President of my local Daycare Association! We enjoyed voting last night as well as a potluck dinner.

I did get an update on Friday about Baby O. It sounded like he was doing better as far as he was looking more alert and was able to wake up on his own and be ready to eat. I have not heard anything since Friday. As of Friday he was still in the hospital. My friend said in her email that on Friday he was looking more like her little son!

Weekend Update

My Girls Saturday morning glued to cartoons.

Daddy finally got the baby swing up. There wasn't enough room on the big swing for Sweet Baby Girl's baby swing. So Daddy built another swing for it and room for 2 more things! Mommy is just as excited as Sweet Baby Girl.

The Dancer had a dance recital on Saturday late afternoon. She did a great job.

The pictures I took of her dancing did not turn out. They danced to a song from High School Musical "Fabulous".

After the dance recital we enjoyed supper at Applebee's. Our all time favorite. Sweet Baby Girl shared Strawberry Cheesecake with Auntie M.

Picture Time

First Popsicle!

New Baby Swing. She loved it. We took the big kid swing down for now but will hopefully make something for the baby swing this weekend. Our little house has a perfect tree for this. Sadly the tree didn't move with us.

Sweet Baby Girl getting a ride from her Big Sisters in the power wheels jeep.

She liked playing the radio!

Thinking Positive

Well, yesterday was not such a good day. I was stressed to think that this summer I might only have 2 daycare kids and not enough income to pay the bills. I found out my friend's baby of just 3 weeks old had to have surgery to drain fluid that is in the back of his brain. A very serious thing. He may be in the hospital for some time. I am worried because during my ultrasound they told me at this point Baby Boy Wynn is breech. If he doesn't turn head down that means I would need a c-section. No I do not want a c-section. I have other children to care for and have been told recovery time is a bit longer. So it wasn't a very pleasant day.

However today I have decided that its all going to be what it is. I can't always change the way things are. I can try to make things better but still sometimes its not in my hands. But I have decided to think positive. Everything always works out. I am going to pray for good things and do my best to stay positive for happy endings. I need to remember that my baby has many many weeks yet to turn head down. Maybe he's just being slow because we don't have a name picked out yet!

Believe it or not my Grandma once said "It gets worse before it gets better". God only gives us what we can handle. She wasn't very encouraging but maybe she is right. We have to learn to get through the bad before we can get to all the good stuff. Just like those tootsie pops. You don't get the tootsie roll until the end.

For now positive thoughts for happy endings.

Prayer Update:

Please continue to pray for Baby O. After many phone calls to Hospitals I found where he is and spoke to my friend. She felt something was not right and took him to the ER on Friday night and they flew him to the Hospital he is at now. They did an MRI yesterday and found some bleeding in the back of his brain. They did surgery on that to drain it. Tomorrow they will do a CT Scan. She said they got alot of information yesterday but it was alot to take in. She is able to be with him and talk to him and let him know she is there with him. She said alot of it is a waiting game.

Please continue to pray for Baby O and his family. Pray for a fast recovery and that they can be home soon as a family. My friend's little girl is almost 3 years old. She is alittle unsure right now with all the changes going on. Since I am home I have told my friend her daughter can always come stay with me. I wish there was more I could do.

I know my friend would be grateful to know everyone is praying for her little boy.

PLEASE PRAY

I have a friend from High School who had a baby on April 1, 2009. She had alittle boy. I do not know the details at this point but have heard that her little boy is in the hospital. He is just 3 weeks old today. Please pray for my friend and her family and of course Baby O.

Please pray the doctors and nurses caring for Baby O do the best they can.
Please pray that my friend and her husband are able to be there with their baby boy.
Please pray for the grandparents and other family and friends of Baby O.
Please pray that Baby O is not in any pain.
Please just pray that Baby O is as strong as his Mommy and he will be just fine!

Just please pray for Baby O.

*For privacy reasons I do not want to list names but I know if you take time to pray for Baby O and his family The Man upstairs will know who you are praying for.

Oh I can not imagine what my dedicated readers are thinking! No posts all day! I do apologize. I guess there wasn't anything to blog about.

I will say though I have major cravings today. I so badly want the carrot cake I ate back in 1917 when I was nanny. Ok not that long ago but it was years ago. They had the best carrot cake one day and of course I had to try it. My mouth is watering just thinking about it. I had to settle for pumpkin bars from Cub Foods. The carrot cake they had looked like someone sat on it. I also snuck a few Custard filled long johns into my cart and a slice of cake! No I won't eat it all at once but it sure does look good. I am going to need a to go on a major diet once this baby boy arrives.

On a side note: Hubby was taking the big girls for a walk and since Sweet Baby Girl was sleeping I was staying home. As they left I said "Don't get wet", (you could see in the sky it was going to rain). So as I am typing I hear them run back into the house. It did start raining! Rose looked at me and said "Well, we could have at least taken the van on the walk so we didn't get wet"!

Where's my Pizza?

So the other day I wanted to have pizza. For some reason there was no pizza in the freezer. Rose told me it was the leprechaun. He came into the house and took it. Do you think maybe it was this one?

Alittle more therapy for me-

It helps me at times to just type away what I am thinking. Good to get it off the chest. Not necessarily will it make the problem go away or for that matter any better. But here's the thing-

The girls saw their biological Grandma. She is a nice person and means well. She loves those girls just like many others. She had great fear when we got the girls that we wouldn't allow her to see them. However both my hubby and I know that family is very important. She is their family. So about once every 3-4 months she comes to town. She stays in a hotel along with her daughter who comes and her other 2 grandchild. So not only do they see Grandma they also get to see their 2 cousins and aunt. The last 2 times she has come we have actually been able to let ourselves enjoy some quiet time and let the girls have a sleep over. The first few times we just weren't ready to give that much trust. Anyways, they have a great time seeing their family. The girls also have a Grandpa that is in another state that they talk with on the phone. He also sends them little presents in the mail. They haven't seen him in a few years and will hopefully see him at Christmas time 2009. That is the plans so far.

Hubby went to drop the girls off and Grandma told him that she has been talking to their birth mom. Not alot is usually said but she will ask if the girls are alright. According to Grandma mom knows that it would be a very hard thing for the girls if she came back right now. Hello, of course it would be hard. It will be at any point. According to Grandma mom will come back in about 3 years.

3 years? What does that mean for them? What does that mean for me? My hubby? What does that mean for Sweet Baby Girl who only knows home with her big sisters? The dancer will be about 10 years old and Rose will be about 8. I will not lie about my biggest fear. We all have fears. My biggest fear is that something will happen to my hubby and their birth mom will get those girls back. Do you know what that would do to me? Do you know what that would do to them? Yes, we have a paper that states both hubby and I have custody and if anything happens to hubby they are mine. But it also states below that the Birth mom has the right to go to the courts and seek custody or whatever she may want to try for. Who says that won't happen? Who says the judge will be on my side? Will I even have it in me to fight. God knows I would do what I could.

They are just as much my girls as hers. Aren't they? I am the one who has to tell The Dancer it is ok to miss her mom. I am the one who has to tell her when she cries that her mom misses her to. I am the one who has to tell her that her Mom felt she was better here with her dad and I. I am the one who has to comfort Rose when the little boy on the bus picks on her.

The Dancer is a sweetheart to everyone. She is the type of person who will forget and forgive her birth mom much faster than she should. I am not in anyway saying she shouldn't know her but shouldn't there be some anger? Some hurt? Some confusion? Not only did their mom leave them she took their half sister with her. They have missed out on over a year with her.

The Dancer has had a very rough week when it comes to bedtimes. She knew her Grandma was coming and we think that thinking of Grandma and understanding that is her mom's mom that it makes it hard for her to cope with everything. It brings up things that she can remember. Rose does not say too much. Rose usually talks about it when The Dancer does. I think being Rose is younger she is forgetting her some. She doesn't remember as much as The Dancer.

3 years? What if its sooner? What if its longer? There are so many what ifs. Can I happily just wish and pray for her to never come back? But then what is that doing? She is the women who gave birth to them. They do have a right to know her but in what way?

The Grandma gave them a present that their birth mom sent for them. It was a box of Bendaroos (they advertise them on tv and we told the girls we would only buy them if we found them in the store. They are cheap and not worth it). Anyways, she also sent them things at Christmas. What is the reason for this? Is she trying to buy their love? Sending them gift is not going to make life better for them.

There are just alot of what ifs. Things that we can only prepare ourselves for when they happen. I also fear that no matter what those girls will in some way suffer. They are so well taken care of here. They are so very spoiled by not only hubby and I but our families. They are so loved. But they will always have to deal with the fact that their birth mom left them.

I will always have to deal with the fact that she may come back.

ITS A BABY!

It is defiantly what it is! No way around it. No need to worry they are wrong. Its defiantly going to be a BOY! We need to get some blue in the house after all! Now the lady took a picture of its little boy part. Why would they do that? Just seems wrong even if he is unborn. I won't be sharing that picture. Just can't do it. They also confirmed with excitement I was right with my dates and I am still due the end of August. Actually shows the 25th instead of the 27th! So what my doctor was thinking at my last appt. I do not know.

Now my Hubby and I went to Target and I was lucky to be able to get what I got. He said it wasn't time to shop. Hmm, me not shop. Yeah, right. I will have to go another time when he's at home!! So I only got 2 things. The blanket says Thank Heaven for Little Boys and the shirt says mommy rules!

PS for those who have checked my blog more than once today looking for this post I got to it as soon as I could. Hubby and I also enjoyed a quiet lunch at Buffalo Wild Wings! Not too often we get to go without the kiddos.

What will it be?

Well some of the vote are in as to what's it going to be a boy or a girl. Let's hope we can find out!
Mom: Girl
Dad: Boy
Rose and The Dancer: Girl
Grandma R: Boy
Auntie M: She thinks girl because she feels we'll end up with all girls but thinks boy because my tummy looks different than with Sweet Baby Girl. I am carrying different this time. I am more rounded than the last time.

I go in today at 11am! Then out to lunch! I can't wait. I am already hungry!

Vice President

Well, I am moving up in the world! I am running for Vice President! Oh no not of the United States of America but for the Crow Wing County Licensed Family Child Care Association! I did a 2 year term as Secretary and I am now completing a 1 year term as a Board Member. I have decided to try and move up the ladder and run for Vice President! We have 181 (give or take a few each month) Home Daycares in our county. As a board we plan trainings for the providers who wish to attend. We get phone calls from providers with questions on certain issues such as Daycare Assistance programs, busing issues, and behavioral things. We also coordinate a referral list for parents looking for childcare. Each month the association also puts out a newsletter that is done up by the secretary (they have the busy work). We also enter a float in the Homecoming Parade and put on a Day of the Young Child event that is like a carnival. The election will be held the last Monday of this month at a potluck dinner and meeting! Being a part of the board has been a great way for me to meet other people. Some would think the other providers are my competition but really we are a group of people working together to make a difference for the children we care for and its a great way to network with others and get new and exciting ideas!

Hubby is so far ok with the idea. He has to be since he is the babysitter when I have my 2 meetings each month (we get the summer off)! He's done great with the 3 girls when I am gone and its great for me to also get out of the house. We'll see how he does with 4 kids come fall!

Family

This was taken Easter morning at church with Hubby's dad.

These two pictures where taken at Easter. I didn't get very excited family members when I said I wanted a family picture. I also think we were standing in the sun. After they were taken I realized nobody stood in front of me to hide my very large tummy. I tried to get them to re-take the picture but my brothers decided to leave so that couldn't happen. Oh well. Just remember when looking at them I AM PREGNANT and HUGE!

I am like my Mother

A few weeks ago Rose would complain she was sick every time we talked about preschool or when she thought it was preschool time. She would get really upset and tell me we needed to call the teacher that she had to stay home. We found out after 3 days of this that there was a little boy on the bus that was bothering her and she didn't like sitting next to him. So I talked with the driver. Well, last week and this week I noticed a new driver. I didn't think much of it. Yesterday Rose went to school on the bus with no problems. When she got home she told me that she couldn't sit next to her friend B because the driver said B was having a bad day. Turns out the boy she didn't want to sit with sat next to her. Rose had a terrible terrible night. She was crabby and tried to tell me preschool was over. I didn't think too much of it. Today when we had lunch I told her she needed to eat nice so she was ready for the bus. She started to cry. I asked what was wrong and she told me again that the boy bothers her. So I called her teacher and spoke to her and she is looking into who this boy is. Rose tells me he is not in her class.

The bus came and Rose asked me to go with her. I walked her to the bus and she started to cry. I picked her up and told her if she cried I would cry. That is the same thing my mom used to say to me when I was little and was upset. After I said it I couldn't believe I did. I am like my mother!

I spoke to the driver and she had Rose sit in the front by a little girl who I usually see wave to me each day Rose gets picked up. I felt terrible having her get on the bus with tears. I walked away and I cried to. No mother wants their child to be afraid to ride the bus to school. I am still struggling with the fact I can not drive her like some of the other mothers can do. I am thankful I am home with her and the other girls when they need me home. I am just sad I can not drive them to school or go to school and help in their classrooms. I do know I need to be thankful that I spend most of their time with them. I know there are alot of parents who don't get that chance. I am just struggling with this. Hopefully in time it will pass.

Rose will get off the bus at 3:15 and I will make sure I am there waiting for her!

But now I need to come to terms that I am like my mother!

A few words and pictures

Rose and her daycare friends made a pretend Bomb fire!

Sweet Baby Girl being a Ball Hog!

My 3 Pink Roses!

Names

I remember years ago my parents telling me that my dad wanted to name me Rose after a small dinky place called Rose City. If you know what I am talking about you would know that you wouldn't want to be named after such a thing. If you don't know Rose City its a small little town in the middle of nowhere that has about 10 houses now, a little bar and a church. Nothing to get too excited about. A name is something you are given at birth and its yours to carry with you forever. For however long you are here celebrating life! So yes, it should have meaning.

When I was pregnant with Sweet Baby Girl we at first wanted to give her the name Hannah. Then Hannah Montana got so popular that I just couldn't have my child thinking that's how she got her name. I also had a daycare child say "We could call her Hannah Montana". Umm, no. So we came up with the name Maddison Marie. Marie is my middle name and also Danny's grandmother's first name. I have never seen Maddison spelled anywhere else with 2 D's but I wanted it to be a bit different. Now both the older girls where named by their birth mom. Jade Lynn got her middle name from her mom. That is her middle name as well. Then there is Abbygail Rose. Sadly I have no idea where or how she got her name. Hubby said he had no choice in the matter.

When I was little I was given the name Amy and I wanted my sister to be called Rainbow. Now can you imagine if my parents would have granted me my wish. Can you imagine what my sister would think of her name? I am sure she would have been teased. But hey I was little, what did I know about names? My mom wanted her to be an Abby. However dad said no. Its ok though because we have our Abby in the family now! My sister ended up with Molly as her name.

Now my husband ended up with his dad's name Danny. He also ended up with 2 middle names which he refused to do with Maddison. I wanted to name her after my great grandma Agnes. I was even willing to use Maddison Marie Agnes. He as 2 middle names and is surviving it well why wouldn't she? He refused. So we didn't do that. His name is Danny Jason Christopher.

My dad was adopted as some my readers probably know. Its not something we talk about alot but most do know it. Now when he was adopted his adoptive parents gave him the name Roger. His birth mom had named him Ralph. Now of course to me he was always dad and still is but I could not imagine his name being Ralph. He just doesn't seem to fit the name Ralph. I think Roger is a better fit.

So a name should have some meaning to it. It should be something you think your child will someday be thankful to go to school and tell everyone they meet what their name is.

I guess what I am getting at is what am I going to name my unborn baby? We had a boy name picked out just in case they were wrong when they said we were having a girl when we had Maddison. However my mother made fun of the name. We had Christian Harvey picked out. Harvey is my grandpa's name. Maybe it just struck her as not a name we'd pick. She said our child would be called Christ. So after all that I don't want to use that name this time around if it happens to be a boy. We have pondered the name Aiden, which is something I like but Hubby hates it. We have pondered the name Mason, Hubby hates it. I have told him we could just name a boy Danny since his name is Danny and so is his dads, he hates it. That's ok too because I don't like that idea either.

We seem to be able to come up with girl names a bit easier. We have pondered names from Allison, Keira, Alayna, Madeline, Marissa and a few others. I still want the middle name Agnes. He wants to use Lee which is his mom's name. Her first name is Lydia.

No matter what we find out at our ultrasound on Friday I want to have boy name and a girl name picked out. Just in case they tell us one thing and it turns out to be different.

So in the end if we end up with a boy we may have to call him Boy and if we end up with a girl we may have to call her Girl! I think this time around we won't have a final name until that little Baby Wynn is born.

Happy 2 years!

I got 3 pink roses for my Anniversary today from my Hubby. Now I am wondering if he just got 3 because that looks better than 2 or if he was thinking it was our 3rd anniversary!?! They were even delivered!

Sweet Baby Girl

Easter 2009 Almost 13 months old!

Easter 2008 6 Days old!

Sweet Baby Girl sure did change in a years time! She slept in the basket last year at Easter. This year we knew that wasn't going to happen. We also had to use a bigger basket!

Easter Fun

Pictures from our Trip!

We're home and thankful to be!

Well it was an interesting little trip! We arrived Thursday night at the hotel around 7:30pm. We all got ready to go swimming. We weren't as excited about the room we had compared to another hotel we've stayed at in the area. Just a bit smaller and no frig for drinks. Thankfully we did have our small cooler with. The pool area was also a bit smaller. The girls enjoyed swimming. Hubby went looking for snacks after swimming and didn't think we'd like the nachos or other appetizers from the hotel restaurant so he headed down the street to Denny's. We ended up not getting our snack until 9:45 so it was a late night.

Friday morning we had a great continental breakfast at the hotel. We went to Babys R Us and saw tons of cute things. The baby clothes there are to die for! However I wasn't able to buy the baby any since I don't know what it is. I did however pick up one little outfit for Sweet Baby Girl for next winter. I love clearance. Oh and a girls outfit just in case its another girl or my sister has a girl. Its jeans and a flowery top for $3.00! Can't turn down a deal like that! We decided to wait to purchase our double stroller like we had first planned to do. I just don't think I want to spend as much as they want so I will keep looking around to see if there is something I like better.

We headed out to find a hobby shop that Hubby wanted to find. However we took a wrong turn. We stopped at Starbucks and ended up in a small fender bender. My Hubby was driving and went to back out and hit an older lady driving a 2003 station wagon. He said he looked and didn't see anyone and is thinking because her car sits lower to the ground that is why he didn't see her. Everyone is ok! That is the main thing. Our wonderful 2008 van does however have a scratch on it. Hubby felt we got the worst of the damage.

After getting over the fender bender and being thankful it didn't happen on the road we headed to Chucky E Cheese. The girls loved it. They played games and ate more pizza than I expected.

We didn't get home until about 9:30pm Friday night and Sweet Baby Girl was so happy to be home and out of the van she scooted all around the living room. She scooted further than she ever has!

I will post pictures later. Just got a call my little brother M got in trouble. I must get details. Thankfully he called his other sister because I don't think I would be as nice about it as she is being. Kids these days!

What's in the suit case?

Now Rose is only 5 years old. Its funny to see how she packed her suitcase which she is really supposed to share with The Dancer. Since Rose is at preschool I felt it was important to see what she had packed. In the smallest pocket she had her PJ's, Swim Suit and the old smelly blanket (she so needs to get rid of this). Then in the biggest pocket she had the hugest stuffed bunny we own, her little container of Polly pockets, a pair of underwear, and of course the most important thing her purse! I don't even want to know what's in the purse (Ok I went and looked and its empty)! Now to a 5 year old it's probably very important to have your Polly pockets with you at a hotel. The empty purse most likely won't get her anywhere and it actually looks kind of like mine! So together we won't be going too far. Here is a picture of the inside of Rose's suit case. She is a sweetheart! She has her daddy rapped around her finger. He came home early today to arrange the little trip to a hotel. We did find a hotel for less than $100 with tax! So not too bad.

Thanks to TV advertisements we hear about Chucky Cheese all the time. I have been there enough to know I don't care for their pizza but the girls want to go so badly (when I worked as a Nanny we went there alot). They don't know it yet but we will take them there tomorrow for supper when we leave for home. We'll let them swim tonight when we get to the hotel around 8pm! It will be a late night but we can sleep in tomorrow. Ok maybe not we'll all be in one little room. It was a good idea though. We will bumb around the cities area tomorrow. My Husband of course has a fish shop he wants to visit (of course him main reason for the little trip).

Hopefully we can make it home Friday night in time for 8:30pm bedtimes. Saturday morning we have an Easter party to go to at Rose's school. Sunday we are headed to eat breakfast with Hubby's dad at his church and then to my grandparents for Easter Dinner. Its going to be a busy weekend.

My children are spoiled!

I took this picture of Rose about 25 minutes ago. She has decided she wants to go to a hotel for 3 nights and go swimming. She packed a swim suit, her blanket (can't forget that smelly old thing), a small dinosaur book, her nightgown and pants for underneath (we make her wear pants under it right now because she won't keep covered at night), and a pair of underwear! She tells me she wants to go now. Well right after I took the picture Hubby called. Of course Rose is so spoiled. I tell him what she was doing and he says "Oh I suppose we can go tonight". I said "We'll see". It so much work to pack everything up.



Oh I am so excited Sweet Baby Girl is learning knew things but I am also so sad. That means she is growing up. Way too fast. She has started to learn how to blow kisses. Its so funny though. She more so licks her hand! But she is trying to blow a kiss!

We didn't get outside as much as I would have liked this winter. We tried to go out in the afternoon after the daycare infant would leave for the day. Sweet Baby Girl would be stuck inside with Daddy. Well now that she has gotten alittle older she wants to outside too. The other day was still a bit chilly and there wasn't really anywhere for her play and not get cold. Daddy brought her in the porch to look out the window and when he took her back into the house she got so mad. She started screaming!

Yesterday was finally nice enough that she was able to come outside with us and have something to do. She loved it! She sat on the little red and blue car and she even made noises. The bigger kids got to have an Easter egg hunt and she loved holding eggs and watching the kids run around!

Back to work!!

So my Hubby just called that they will no longer get Fridays off starting next week. Ok that is great. He can drive a person nuts being home all day. He walks around all day telling me how bored he is. So thankfully he goes back to working 5 days a week! However it might be temporary they told him.

Now next Friday just happens to be April 17, 2009. If you have a good memory that is the day of my dates! My 1st date is with the Ultrasound tech. and the second was to be with my Hubby for lunch. So we had to change the appt. from 10am until 11am and Hubby will have to take a half day at work. So all in all it will work out but of course all days to go back to work.

Update

Well my appt. went better than I thought it would. My doctor basically said that symptoms I had with Sweet Baby Girl could also happen this time. Like the swollen ankles. She said that the negative thing about it is they usually happen sooner. Her solution was to rest my legs when I can. She also said if I wanted I can try a support sock. That is basically like a nylon. My doctor said she wore them when she was pregnant back in the day! However I am not sure I want to be outside this summer wearing capris and nylons but we'll see. I went up to bed last night at 8pm instead of 10pm! So I was able to rest my legs. My legs where really hurting yesterday but I am hoping it was only because I was thinking about them and was nervous for my doctor visit.

The only not so good news at my appt. was she said something about 18 weeks and 5 days along. I am hoping she was just looking at the wrong thing because my calender says 20 weeks! I will wait and see on the 17th what my ultrasound shows for my due date.

MY BIG BELLY!

I can not believe I am actually sharing these pictures with my wonderful readers. But if you look at the first picture you can see how large I got when i was pregnant with Sweet Baby Girl. I am the one in the middle of course (along with my sister and her sister-in-law who I went to school with)! This was taken at my baby shower and I was well over 20 weeks! I must have been about 30 weeks. Wow did my face get chubby! Now take a look at the second picture. I am just 20 weeks and look at how big I already am. You would think I was having quads or something! Rose was my photo lady! She did pretty good for being 5 years old.

20 Weeks!

A baby was born! I am so excited! I found out this morning my friend from high school had a baby boy on April 1st! She hadn't told anyone what they were expecting so I was starting to go a bit crazy waiting to find out!

On another note- I am 20 weeks pregnant today! So I am half way there. I am excited and also nervous. Last night I went to take a bubble bath and I noticed my ankles have turned ugly. They were very swollen. They did this with Sweet Baby Girl but I don't think it was until about 30 weeks. That is also when I had orders from my Doctor to take it easy and put my feet up all day. I have a doctors apt. this afternoon and I am really hoping for the best. There are a few changes I can make during the day to accommodate but I can not take 20 weeks off. I am a mother. We do not get days off! The daycare kids love playing doctor so I can lay on the couch and be the sick one and they won't know I have to be lazy! And who knows maybe the doctor won't see concern yet.

Please pray for my ankles. Pray that they don't scare my doctor right out of the exam room. They are pretty ugly right now!

To me its depressing...

When I started daycare I never thought about how I would feel when I had my own children and would want to do special things with just them. It never crossed my mind it would happen. I always thought the best benefit would be staying home with them and being the one to care for them. Not having to let someone else raise my kids. My mom did daycare until I was in 3rd grade. I wanted to be home with my kids. I still do. I ended up with 3 kids in one years time and its now hitting me that I am home with my kids and I love that part but its also hitting me that we are STUCK home. Not because there aren't things to do but because I have too many kids to go anywhere. This week its really really bothering me. I need to fix this problem and I so do not know how. I have to work that is not to be questioned. But I also want my kids to be able to do fun things. I want to be able to take Rose to preschool when she cries because the kid is mean to her on the bus. I can't though because I have a houseful of other kids who need my attention. Sadly m child's needs couldn't come first and on the bus she went with a note to the driver that the mean kids shouldn't be allowed to sit by her (it was worded very nicely).

We got our local summer recreation booklet in the mail and there is something in it I would like each of my kids to do. But because of different ages they are at different times/ different days of the week. I can't get them there. One is a toddler class I would so love to take with my Sweet Baby Girl. The prices are actually reasonable. But its once a week for 6 weeks. If I hire a sub it would cost me $120 extra to take the class. That is also only if I leave at the last minute and walk out as its ending so I don't go over 2 hours a time for the sub. This is depressing me terribly. That wouldn't include the cost of the classes for each one of the girls or a sub for my daycare to get the other two girls to their event. So in the end it would cost me a fortune.

I am trying hard to remind myself that I could be sitting in a small office with no windows and be making alot of money but it wouldn't solve my problem. My kids would be stuck at daycare and still wouldn't be able to attend special things. I could have become a lawyer with too much work to do and pay a nanny to take care of my children. But then I would probably have more problems to think about.

I know there are things I can do with my children on the weekends but that doesn't solve the fact that Toddler Fun, Soccer and Day Camp are during the week and during the day. To me its depressing I can not do these things with my children.

I know in the end I need to be thankful for the time I do get with them and for the things we do get to do. Its just in the back of mind this week what we miss out on. To me its depressing.

Brother T

My brother T seems to have found himself a girlfriend! It doesn't seem possible he's old enough to date. I must really be getting old if my little brother has a girlfriend.

He called me on Sunday to tell me he met this girl. I had already kind of heard but I played cool and I asked him if he met a girl from Texas. He had just gotten back from Texas Saturday night! He told me the story about how they met right before he left. He also told me this girl isn't high maintenance! Now if you know my brother you would know that he isn't looking for no city girl who gets their nails painted every week. He wants a farm girl and it sounds like that is what he found! He made sure to tell me she even knows how to milk cows (great now that he just sold all his)!

He also had a job interview/ job shadow deal yesterday so hopefully that went well.

We love you Brother T and hope it all works out!

PS sorry about the picture. Its all I could find. I stole it from his facebook page!