When I started daycare I never thought about how I would feel when I had my own children and would want to do special things with just them. It never crossed my mind it would happen. I always thought the best benefit would be staying home with them and being the one to care for them. Not having to let someone else raise my kids. My mom did daycare until I was in 3rd grade. I wanted to be home with my kids. I still do. I ended up with 3 kids in one years time and its now hitting me that I am home with my kids and I love that part but its also hitting me that we are STUCK home. Not because there aren't things to do but because I have too many kids to go anywhere. This week its really really bothering me. I need to fix this problem and I so do not know how. I have to work that is not to be questioned. But I also want my kids to be able to do fun things. I want to be able to take Rose to preschool when she cries because the kid is mean to her on the bus. I can't though because I have a houseful of other kids who need my attention. Sadly m child's needs couldn't come first and on the bus she went with a note to the driver that the mean kids shouldn't be allowed to sit by her (it was worded very nicely).
We got our local summer recreation booklet in the mail and there is something in it I would like each of my kids to do. But because of different ages they are at different times/ different days of the week. I can't get them there. One is a toddler class I would so love to take with my Sweet Baby Girl. The prices are actually reasonable. But its once a week for 6 weeks. If I hire a sub it would cost me $120 extra to take the class. That is also only if I leave at the last minute and walk out as its ending so I don't go over 2 hours a time for the sub. This is depressing me terribly. That wouldn't include the cost of the classes for each one of the girls or a sub for my daycare to get the other two girls to their event. So in the end it would cost me a fortune.
I am trying hard to remind myself that I could be sitting in a small office with no windows and be making alot of money but it wouldn't solve my problem. My kids would be stuck at daycare and still wouldn't be able to attend special things. I could have become a lawyer with too much work to do and pay a nanny to take care of my children. But then I would probably have more problems to think about.
I know there are things I can do with my children on the weekends but that doesn't solve the fact that Toddler Fun, Soccer and Day Camp are during the week and during the day. To me its depressing I can not do these things with my children.
I know in the end I need to be thankful for the time I do get with them and for the things we do get to do. Its just in the back of mind this week what we miss out on. To me its depressing.
No comments:
Post a Comment